I have to just tell you this story before I begin. I went to the second week of Bible study months ago. It just so happened to be the Bible study was on Breaking Free and Beth Moore’s study was inspired for women to break free from strongholds that are imprisoning us from receiving the full benefits of God. Ok here is the cool part. I was sitting there as the video began and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me, go buy the book for this study. I’m like, “umm God I only $20 in my wallet and that book is $15. There goes the rest of my paycheck.” But the Spirit was so convicting, I got up and bought the book. I kid you not, later that day I had 1500$ deposited into my account. God is my witness that story is true. Talk about being obedient. But even more rewarding is not even 2 weeks later I experienced my first full-fledged panic attack and I had the book as a tool to help me break free from panic and anxiety attacks. Perfect timing though for a Breaking Free Bible study-I love God’s timing, don’t you?
Alright here is my theory on why I started having panic attacks. I wanted so badly to join the US military. I even said, “I think I am going to join even though I do not believe it is God’s will for my life.” Ok, I can only imagine what God was thinking when I told Him what I was going to do. According to Isaiah 43:1, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. As a child of God, He wasn’t just going to let me have it my way like Burger King :D
I was rebellious to God, and I honestly believe He gave me over to the desires of my heart. I made arrogant threats to the LORD (Zephaniah 2:10) and He was about to show little ole me who was boss. I didn’t want to do His will, so He was going to let go-just long enough for me to realize how miserable I was without Him-just long enough for me to cry out to Him for Deliverance and Help!
Here is my reference to my theory-of course it is the Word of God. Psalm 107: 10-16
Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they ha rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his UNFAILING love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.
You see I was starving my soul of the Savior. I was ignoring the hunger pains and was getting spiritually sick and weak. The only healer for me is the One and Only true Healer, Jesus Christ! I would be lying if I said I didn’t suffer still from anxieties. This morning was just awful for me, I didn’t even want to go to Bible Study this morning (even though it was the last one of the semester). But oh how God works in the minor details of our life. Beth Moore’s lesson was on, you guessed it; fears! This morning I called my dad feeling discouraged because I do cry out to God and read His word daily. But praying to Him and reading His word is useless unless I put some action to it. James 1:23 says “If anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in the mirror.”
I love what Beth Moore said in the final week of the study; wrap your self around the leg of God and hold on to Him for dear life. The easy part is for us to hang onto Him, because He will fight on our behalf. God says in Zephaniah 2:7, “For the Lord their God will intervene for them”.
That’s right! Our God fights for us, loves us, desires to have personal relationship with us. How great it is to be friends with the Most High God, the creator of the universe. God is good and He is awesome. Zephaniah 3:5 says “The LORD is righteous in her midst, He will do no unrighteousness. Every morning He bring His justice to light; He never fails, but the unjust knows no shame.” Praise God; how awesome to have a friend who 1) fights on our behalf, 2) Never ever fails us.
I’ll end with scripture from Hosea where God is talking to His beloved people who have rebelled against Him. He is angry at their disobedience but loves them dearly. It pains God I believe when we turn our face from Him. Hosea 11:8-9
How can I give you up Ephraim? How can I hand you over Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I set you like Zeboi’im? My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred. I will not execute the fierceness of My anger; I will not again destroy Epharim. For I AM God and not man, the HOLY ONE in your midst; and I will not come with terror.
You see I rebelled against God, because I was living a lie on "Planet Me”. God had compassion on me when I returned to Him. He welcomed me with open arms back into His glory and grace. I battle these anxieties with the Word of God. Bible memorization is key, tearing down Satan’ lies and replacing my heart, soul, and mind with truth of Jesus Christ (reference from Breaking Free). Don’t give satan any ground to wreck havoc, don’t give him one inch of ground, fill up your life with the Spirit. As a Christian we are sealed up forever with the Holy Spirit, but we must live a life obedient to the King! Think of a relationship with God similar to one with your best friend. If you only spoke to them once a week, month, year, you would have a very poor relationship. Same with God, talk to Him daily, listen to Him, read His word and experience the best kind of relationship you’ll ever have.
For those who don’t know Jesus Christ personally, just know He is already a friend of you, He just waits for you to be a friend to Him. Praise God for His unfailing, endless flowing, everlasting love!!!!
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